Book reviews

Victims No Longer

The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse By Mike Lew

A superbly written book, now updated and revised which includes an expanded Resources section. An education for both survivors and professionals about the recovery process. This invaluable resource continues to offer compassionate and practical advice, supported by personal anecdotes and statements of male survivors.

Psychotherapist Mike Lew has worked with thousands of men and women in their healing from the effects of childhood sexual abuse, rape, physical violence, emotional abuse and neglect. The development of strategies for recovery from incest and other abuse, particularly for men, has been a major focus of his work as a counselor and group lead

 

 A survivors spouse’s personal review of “Victims No Longer”

Firstly, I need to say that I am not a fan of non fiction or resource material, I generally read for pleasure and to unwind a little. However, I found myself in a position where I needed to find out more about the recovery of men from sexual child abuse and I duly got on the Internet. I kept on stumbling across this book and this author and I decided this should be my book of choice. I tried to get my hands on a copy, unfortunately all reputable book stores were out of stock and I had to go back online and order it. I managed to get a copy from Kalahari.com after about three weeks. I think it is also available from Amazon.com in book format, as far as I can tell it is not yet available as an ebook.

As normal I settled down on the next Saturday afternoon to get to grips with my newly acquired piece of literature. I have been known to kill a 500 page book in a day, so I thought I would be finished by the end of the weekend.

I was in for a surprise – this book would eventually take me two weeks to get through. Perhaps, it was because it was very close to home as my husband was himself a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, but I found that I had to take it slowly. I had to read a chapter, digest it and I then found I needed to explore the content with my husband. Although it is not easily read content, it is an easy read. What do I mean by this? Well as you can imagine it is a very serious topic but it is written with compassion and empathy and careful consideration is given to the reader, whether they be a survivor, partner of a survivor or the like.

The book includes personal statements from survivors, some are very compelling and to me sad reflections of bad things that happened to good people. I need to warn you that these stories brought tears to my eyes on more than one occasion and that survivors may be triggered by these stories.

Dare I say it – I thoroughly enjoyed the book, enjoyment being that I have a renewed interest in non fiction. It is a treasure of information for survivors and anyone that may interact with a survivor. I am sure it would give survivors comfort knowing that they are not alone and that their feelings and fears are normal. In the same vein it will give the loved ones of survivors an insight into what they are really going through, why they react in a certain way and most of all it gives some answers to the un-asked questions.

It is not a book you read and distribute at your weekly book club, hold onto it, put it in your bookcase and keep referring to it when you feel lost, confused or just not sure of where you are. A hard but great read!

Rose, Johannesburg, South Africa

 

LEAPING UPON THE MOUNTAINS

Men Proclaiming Victory over Sexual Child Abuse By Mike Lew

Leaping upon the Mountains contains powerfully moving contributions from hundreds of men of all ages and backgrounds throughout the United States and 45 other countries. It is not a work of fiction, but a compilation of many truths, many realities—a quilt pieced together from men’s experiences—forming an impressively triumphant pattern. Taken together, they state, lucidly and forcefully, that recovery work produces changes that are real, important, and permanent. Leaping upon the Mountains is a celebration of successful recovery.

 

 

 

 

THE SEXUAL HEALING JOURNEY By Wendy Maltz 

This widely esteemed, comprehensive guide helps survivors of sexual abuse heal from the past, improve relationships, and discover the joys of sexual intimacy. Wendy Maltz sensitively takes readers step-by-step through the recovery process, integrating expert advice with groundbreaking exercises, proven techniques, and first-person accounts of women and men at every stage of sexual healing.

This compassionate resource can help you to:

Identify the sexual effects of sexual abuse Eliminate negative sexual behavior and resolve specific problems Gain control over upsetting automatic reactions to touch and sex Develop a healthy sexual self-concept

 

 

Nelson Mandela

"As I walked out the door towards my freedom, I knew that if I did not leave all the anger, hatred and bitterness behind, I would still be in prison"

IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT

People from all walks of life can be a victim of sexual abuse. It doesn’t matter your age, race or cultural background, everyone is at risk of becoming a victim. It must be known that you did not choose for this to happen to you, there is nothing specific about you that makes you more vulnerable to this abuse. Sexual abuse, like any form of abuse is a criminal offence and is never the fault of the person it happens to. It doesn’t matter whether you were drinking or drugging. It doesn’t matter what you were wearing or saying. It doesn’t matter if you knew the abuser or were having an argument. You are, Under No Circumstances responsible for being assaulted or sexually abused. The person who did this to you is the only person responsible for your sexual assault; they are the ones to blame.