Do You Remember?

Do you remember what you did to me?
Do you remember why you did it?
Do you remember gripping and forcing me down?
Do you remember no longer needing to do either?
Do you remember?

Do you remember hurting me and making me cry?
Do you remember my terror and the words I screamed?
Do you remember how I prayed for protection?
Do you remember my shame and my silence afterward?
Do you remember?

Do you remember saying, “it was for your own good”?
Do you remember in what position I lay?
Do you remember seeing my empathy for others vanish?
Do you remember that I lost my trust in others?
Do you remember?

Do you remember how I feared the dark, my constant nightmares?
Do you remember my perfectionism, and my need to feel safe?
Do you remember my self-doubt and how I belittled myself?
Do you remember how I viewed myself as ‘dirty’, ‘repulsive’, and ‘infectious’?
Do you remember?

Do you remember my suicide attempts?
Do you remember my substance abuse?
Do you remember my defiant behaviour?
Do you remember that you then punished me further?
Do you remember?

I did not remember everything afterwards,
But I remember more now.
Do you care?
Do you remember?
I will never be able to forget.

Craig Traub
Clinical Psychologist & Criminologist
(Inspired by a SAMSOSA Workshop for Professionals in Sept 2013)

Nelson Mandela

"As I walked out the door towards my freedom, I knew that if I did not leave all the anger, hatred and bitterness behind, I would still be in prison"


People from all walks of life can be a victim of sexual abuse. It doesn’t matter your age, race or cultural background, everyone is at risk of becoming a victim. It must be known that you did not choose for this to happen to you, there is nothing specific about you that makes you more vulnerable to this abuse. Sexual abuse, like any form of abuse is a criminal offence and is never the fault of the person it happens to. It doesn’t matter whether you were drinking or drugging. It doesn’t matter what you were wearing or saying. It doesn’t matter if you knew the abuser or were having an argument. You are, Under No Circumstances responsible for being assaulted or sexually abused. The person who did this to you is the only person responsible for your sexual assault; they are the ones to blame.