Your journey towards health and healing

YOUR JOURNEY TOWARD HEALTH AND HEALING

Surviving an act of sexual abuse is a triumph in itself; being able to say that “I survived” can be one very inspiring moment. Understanding the fact that you are a survivor is the beginning of your successful path to recovery. Remember, there is no right way or quick fix to health and healing, your journey to recovery is unique to you, you decide when and how you want to recover, at your own pace and at your own time.

Any act that contributes to the improvement of your health, whether it be the slight improvement of your self-esteem, self – awareness or greater education and understanding of a sexual abuse, contributes to your healing process. There is no strict order of how to go about your recovery.

Below are a few guidelines for you to follow that may prove beneficial in your health and healing. Keep in mind, there is no order of importance to these guidelines, nor are they all necessary, if you feel that a step will not benefit you in your journey or feel you would only like to spend a brief amount of time on a specific point, that is FINE.

BEGINNING TO HEAL

Deciding When The Time Is Right To Begin The Journey.

The first step is making the decision that you want to or need to create this change in your life.

Standing Up To The Sexual Abuse

When you are ready, this stage allows you to reflect on the sexual abuse you previously faced, allowing you to realise the impacts and effects this experience had on your life.

Saying No To Denial

This is a big step for those of you who find yourselves trying to minimize the effects of your trauma. This is a time to fully accept the sexual abuse as a reality.

Recollection

Further along in your recovery, once you begin to start feeling more comfortable with the process, you may begin to remember more details and feelings associated with your sexual assault, this is a time to explore those feelings and reflect in a safe environment.

You Don’t Need To Sit In Silence

Talk to someone about what happened to you. Being able to express your real feelings externally to someone who you trust can help to relieve any pain still buried beneath the surface.

Believing That You Are Not To Blame

At this stage you will come to accept and acknowledge that you were not to blame for this sexual abuse and that this was not your fault.

Trusting Yourself Again

Continuing with your recovery, you will begin to regain the ability to trust your own judgements, as well as to rely on yourself again; this will create an increased sense of self and positive feelings of regaining control.

Embrace Your Pain

Know that you are allowed to feel pain and experience sadness. Being able to cry and express emotion is a rare quality of strength that all men possess. Allow yourself to activate this quality by being open to your emotions and to embrace them. Like a river, allow your emotions the freedom to flow.

Growing Spiritually

Allow yourself to develop even further than ‘just’ recovery. Spiritual growth can be obtained through elevating your self-esteem through things like art, music, religion, sport or any other fulfilling means.

Resolution

You achieve a level of inner calmness, peace and clarity, enabling you to return to any previous stages, with a new energy and flow, allowing you re-experience your event with less painful memories and a great insight and self-awareness.

The ability to show emotion in a male is a characteristic of strength and a vigorous intelligence.

A man of emotion is a man of truth, strength and reality, this is a man who can be respected and looked up to with more dynamism than that of any soldier holding a position on the front line during war. This is the true definition of manliness. What you will learn from your recovery will make you powerful beyond expectation.

Remember you are never alone in your journey to recovery. If ever you feel you need additional help and support, please do not hesitate to call  071  280 9918. Or look up one of our support groups listed on this website.

Nelson Mandela

"As I walked out the door towards my freedom, I knew that if I did not leave all the anger, hatred and bitterness behind, I would still be in prison"

IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT

People from all walks of life can be a victim of sexual abuse. It doesn’t matter your age, race or cultural background, everyone is at risk of becoming a victim. It must be known that you did not choose for this to happen to you, there is nothing specific about you that makes you more vulnerable to this abuse. Sexual abuse, like any form of abuse is a criminal offence and is never the fault of the person it happens to. It doesn’t matter whether you were drinking or drugging. It doesn’t matter what you were wearing or saying. It doesn’t matter if you knew the abuser or were having an argument. You are, Under No Circumstances responsible for being assaulted or sexually abused. The person who did this to you is the only person responsible for your sexual assault; they are the ones to blame.