Recoverying from sexual abuse

Recovering From Sexual Abuse

Recovery does not happen overnight, but it is well within the grasp of any male who has made the decision to empower himself and recover the life that was interrupted during his childhood. It is important to note that neither drugs or alcohol will aid you in this recovery. They may create a temporary state of solace or amnesia, but this can, and often does, lead to addiction which will only compound the initial issue. Therefore, it is extremely important that drugs and/or alcohol not be used as an emotional crutch when dealing with sexual abuse.

There are no fixed rules or order that healing should  take place.

STAGES AND STEPS

Stage 1: Remembering

  1. I am in a break through crisis, having gained some sense of my abuse.
  2. I have determined that I was physically, sexually or emotionally abused as a child.
  3. I have made a commitment to recover from my childhood abuse.
  4. I shall re-experience each set of memories as they surface in my mind.
  5. I accept that I was powerless over my abusers’ actions which holds THEM responsible.
  6. I can respect my shame and anger as a consequence of my abuse, but shall try not to turn it against myself or others.
  7. I can sense my inner child whose efforts to survive now can be appreciated.

Stage 2: Mourning

  1. I have made an inventory of the problem areas in my adult life.
  2. I have identified the parts of myself connected to self sabotage.
  3. I can control my anger and find healthy outlets for my aggression.
  4. I can identify faulty beliefs and distorted perceptions in myself and others.
  5. I am facing my shame and developing self-compassion.
  6. I accept that I have the right to be who I want to be and live the way I want to live.
  7. I am able to grieve my childhood and mourn the loss of those who failed me.

Stage 3: Healing

  1. I am entitled to take the initiative to share in life’s riches.
  2. I am strengthening the healing parts of myself, adding to my self-esteem.
  3. I can make necessary changes in my behavior and relationships at home and work.
  4. I have resolved the abuse with my offenders to the extent that is acceptable to me.
  5. I hold my own meaning about the abuse that releases me from the legacy of the past.
  6. I see myself as a thriver in all aspects of life – love, work, parenting, and play.
  7. I am resolved in the reunion of my new self and eternal soul.

Adapted from an article from ASCA Meeting Guidebook

 

 

Nelson Mandela

"As I walked out the door towards my freedom, I knew that if I did not leave all the anger, hatred and bitterness behind, I would still be in prison"

IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT

People from all walks of life can be a victim of sexual abuse. It doesn’t matter your age, race or cultural background, everyone is at risk of becoming a victim. It must be known that you did not choose for this to happen to you, there is nothing specific about you that makes you more vulnerable to this abuse. Sexual abuse, like any form of abuse is a criminal offence and is never the fault of the person it happens to. It doesn’t matter whether you were drinking or drugging. It doesn’t matter what you were wearing or saying. It doesn’t matter if you knew the abuser or were having an argument. You are, Under No Circumstances responsible for being assaulted or sexually abused. The person who did this to you is the only person responsible for your sexual assault; they are the ones to blame.